


Everybody hates on Aomine

by bakashi



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Friendship, Gen, GoM - Freeform, Humor, dumb aomine, ooc!kise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-07 02:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1114263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakashi/pseuds/bakashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No matter how you look at it, Aominecchi was definitely the biggest asshole!"<br/>In which Kise reprimands Aomine on being such a douche during their Teikou years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody hates on Aomine

**Author's Note:**

> this takes place after the winter cup!  
> kinda ooc!Kise, spoilers from around Q204-end of Teikou arc.  
> Thanks for reading ^^

“No matter how you look at it, Aominecchi was definitely the biggest asshole.”

It was a bright and beautiful sunny day in Tokyo and on a rare break from the six teams’ rigorous training menus, the generation of miracles (plus Momoi) were all assembled at a nearby grassy park. Having played a couple of rounds of 3 on 3 at the outdoor basketball court, the six sweaty boys were sprawled out under the shade of a big oak tree. Exhausted but satisfied, the peaceful silence was broken by Kise’s brief but effective statement.  
Touou’s dark skinned ace lifted his head off the grass momentarily, neck straining as he turned towards Kise’s voice. “What now?” he grumbled, annoyed at the interruption of his relaxation.

“Well just look at everything we’ve done to Kurokocchi,” Kise continued matter-of-factly, missing the slight spark of interest in Kuroko’s usually expressionless face, “Midorimacchi and I have done virtually nothing besides following Akashicchi’s ridiculous winning is everything mantra which, realistically speaking, we enjoy life too much to disobey. All Murasakibaracchi did was trigger Akashicchi’s transformation from 50% asshole to 100% asshole, which would’ve happened eventually, we really can’t blame him for that. Akashicchi was just being the demon captain from hell but that’s kind of his personality so nothing really changed except one of his eyes, freaky!”, Akashi opened one red eye lazily, sending the blond a sharp glare at this demeaning self-description, “But Aominecchi-“ Kise finally paused to take a deep breath, seeming to contemplate his next words. 

“Aominecchi found Kurokocchi, convinced him not to ditch the basketball club, then got too good for him and started ditching the basketball club himself hypocrite much. He got too egotistical, basically dumped poor Kurokocchi, stopped catching his passes, completely abandoned team play, eventually being the reason that Kurokocchi quit basketball. He totally failed at trying to find Kurokocchi before middle school was done because everyone knows what a dumb butt Aominecchi is without Kurokocchi and Momoicchi. He killed Kurokocchi and Ogiwaracchi’s friendship and probably left Kurokocchi with some serious abandonment and inferiority complexes. He went to a different school, gave Kurokocchi some sense of hope of actually winning against the rest of us by lulling him into a false sense of security after Kurokocchi beat me and Midorimacchi, then proceeded to crush Kurokocchi and Kagamicchi’s dreams by beating Seirin into the ground after their first match in the Interhigh. Also, from the point when Aominecchi started developing ‘till the match where Seirin finally beat Aominecchi, Aominecchi got super annoying and overconfident making his new team, Momoicchi, and basically anyone within a five-meter radius of him unable to bear his company what with his stupid ‘the only one who can beat me is me’ crap which admittedly made it super funny when he finally lost but that’s not the point. Oh and let’s not forget that he made Kurokocchi wait like at least a year and a half for one stupid fist bump, which made every single other fist bump to occur between him and Kagamicchi super loaded with double meanings and unrealistic amazing best friend for life expectations which we all know Kagamicchi will most likely never live up to.”

Everyone stared at Kise, seemingly satisfied with his rant and flat on his back, arms folded under his head staring up at the clouds. The sudden outburst of Aomine hate coupled with Kise’s scary-cheerful tone and surprisingly detailed recount of their past made them wonder if there was a lot more to the usually airheaded blond behind his everyday smiling face. The area was silent for a second while everyone digested the new information, Momoi staring in amazement at Kise, already analyzing all the new data to be put into his profile. It was she who eventually broke the silence, clearing her throat.  
“Well when you put it like that…”

“Kise, are you sure you’re not just bitter because even though now that we know Aomine’s beatable, you still can’t beat him in a simple game of one-on-one?” questioned Midorima, pushing up his glasses to hide his slightly unnerved expression. 

“No, Ryouta has a point. Daiki was being rather obnoxious towards the end of the year.” Akashi interjected, amused at the various indignant expressions Aomine was currently making. 

“If Aka-chin says so, Kise-chin’s probably right Mine-chin,” Muraskibara said slowly. 

Aomine unclenched his fists, wincing at the judgmental glares everyone was sending at him. “Maybe I was a bit of a jerk-“

“A bit of a jerk! Dai-chan you were the worst ace ever by the end of our first term Imayoshi-senpai was seriously contemplating homicide.”

“Aominecchi killed Kurokocchi’s love of basketball!”

“You incapacitated our only misdirection user, Daiki.”

“Oha-asa states that Aomine’s star sign, Virgo, is perpetually in last place, even after Takao’s sign.”

“… Kuro-chin stopped getting me snacks.”

“Hold up!” Aomine raised a hand, shoulders hunching in a defensive position. “I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one who got a little annoying, you guys all got pretty messed up by the end of Teiko, so don’t blame me for being the first one to get better than everyone else. Maybe I could’ve eased up a bit, but at least everything kind of worked out in the end and Tetsu still managed to find teamwork and shit with Seirin, right?” Aomine rolled his eyes, waiting for a comment from the ever-silent Kuroko. “Right Tetsu?” 

There was another long silence that followed Aomine’s defense. Everyone was stealing glances at Kuroko waiting for his reaction; all the while Aomine’s confident smile wavered growing more and more uncertain. Finally, the stoic boy flicked his eyes to the side, giving Aomine an amused glance, causing the other to flinch in discomfort. 

“I’m going to have to agree with Kise-kun on this one Aomine-kun, that basically sums it up,” Kuroko stated mildly, “You were being exceptionally unpleasant to the point where everyone felt bad for Momoi-san for having the obligation as a childhood friend to put up with you. What I am surprised at is Kise-kun’s surprising depth in the matter. I was under the impression that only I and Momoi-san were aware of the unfortunate circumstances.”

Aomine was at a loss for words as he was met with the sinking realization that even Kise was more observant than he was, as the GoM amusedly exchanged glances at the merciless bashing of their former teammate. They turned towards Aomine, looking expectantly for some sort of defense.

“You left out how Dai-chan also happened to be the one to introduce Tetsu-kun to Akashi-kun, subjecting him to ridiculous encrypted messages and mind games until Tetsu-kun finally figured out what his misdirection could be used for!” Momoi piped up, clearly thinking that this conversation was long overdue.

“And let’s not forget the training menus.” Midorima shuddered, recalling a particularly vivid memory of when he had lost a game of shogi to Akashi and had to triple his training menu. He briefly wondered why anyone ever attempted to beat their heterochromatic-eyed captain, when the outcome was sure to always be in their demise.  
“Aominecchi what did Kurokocchi ever do to you?!” cried Kise.

“Oi oi, how is Akashi’s demonic behavior my fault?? Back when I knew him he had relatively stable values, isn’t Murasakibara the one who turned him insane? How is it my fault that Akashi just randomly decided to start bitching-“ 

A cloud passed over the sun, momentarily shadowing the GoM. Aomine gulped, and everyone simultaneously sweat-dropped as they realized just whom they were bashing and to what consequence it could entail. Akashi chuckled lightly, sounding absolutely deadly to every single person in the vicinity, and Aomine started slowly inching away from the malicious aura emitting from Akashi’s general area.

“Daiki.” Aomine stopped at Akashi’s silken voice, frozen in a frightened crouch. “Are you suggesting that I contributed more to Tetsuya’s departure from the basketball club than you did?” Akashi propped himself up on one hand, using the other to start snipping at the grass casually, scissors glinting in the sunlight.

“…On second thought, maybe I was a bit of an ass. Haha, sorry guys, Tetsu.” Aomine’s voice cracked at the end of the sentence, cursing his unbelievable stupidity. 

“As long as. Now that I think of it, Daiki, exactly how many practices did you skip in your last year of Teikou?”

“It was sixty-five practices, Akashi-kun!” Momoi helpfully interjected, stifling a giggle at the wounded look of betrayal on Aomine’s face.

“Oh what a pity. To make up for your blatant disregard of our team as well as your inconsiderate actions of the past, Daiki, you’re going to make up those practices. Right now. Start running.” Akashi smiled cruelly, eyes daring Aomine to disobey. Everyone sat in silence and watched Touou’s most difficult and disagreeable player scramble to his feet and start running as if the devil was on his heels, which, in a way, he was. With this, Akashi leaned back and laid down on the grass once again, closing his eyes and relaxing, clearly satisfied with the discipline done. The GoM exchanged furtive glances, hoping no more punishment was on its way. Finally, Kise spoke, a nervous edge on the bright, airheaded tone he had started out with.

“Yup, Aominecchi was definitely the biggest asshole!”

No one said a word otherwise.


End file.
